Sunday, November 30, 2008

Thanksgiving '08

Well.... it has been an exciting few days around the house. We have had two Thanksgiving meals, countless leftovers, and I go back to work on Monday. My parents and Andrea came down Wednesday evening and stayed through Thursday afternoon. David enjoyed having the company over and spent a lot of time showing off his toys and learning names. He loved his meal (of course!) and kept asking for more. After Thanksgiving lunch we bought a new Christmas tree and put it up in the living room. David seemed fairly impressed with the spectacle of it all, but he definitely enjoyed the box a lot more. The rest of the day was spent following the usual Thanksgiving routine: eat, sleep, and repeat!



Friday was spent recovering from all the food and getting ready to go over to Emily's grandparents for Thanksgiving with her family.  After all of the greetings and meeting more family, we took David down to the pond to play.  He loved the bridge and looking out over the water.  He also had his first real opportunity to play with his cousins, McKenna (5) and Annie (20 mths).  While McKenna was a great help and David mimicked most of what she did, I think he only saw Annie as a rival for the toys.  Eventually we had to separate him from the toys for a while as he was getting a little too stingy.  David also had the chance to play in the leaves (an American classic).  It was a good day.



The rest of the weekend was spent getting ready to go back to work and going to church.  David did extremely well and only got wiggly towards the end of the service.  The last few weeks have gone by really fast, and while I am ready to see my students again, I am not ready to miss all of the little moments with David that we have had.  Talk to you guys later.

Kyle

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

To Michael....

Thanks for letting me know how things are going at school. I will be back at Cooper on Monday. See you soon.

Mr. Farnham

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Am I Being Tested by the Government?

After purchasing several toys for David over the last week, I have just a quick question, especially for those of you who are parents.

Why must toy packaging be like rocket science? How many times must a toy be screwed tightly by microscopic, invisible screws to 3 sheets of cardboard (that are adhered by supernatural glue)?

Sincerely,
A mother who just wants to free the toys from their boxes

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Days of Fun...

I must say that the last few days we have cleared huge hurdles and accomplished small victories into normal stability. 


Bath time is no longer scary or filled with David's tears. We've convinced him that sitting in the tub is a good thing. We simply hold him in a seated position and then place him in the water. Now, when we pour water over his head, we have him cover his eyes, and it seems to be working. (It probably doesn't eliminate water in the eyes, but like many things in life, it's human nature to view things as okay only when we feel we have some form of control.)

The dogs are becoming David's friends. Not only is he no longer panicking when they walk by him, but he constantly asks for them when they're not around. Today, I took them to the groomer's, and he looked out the window or would point throughout the house, asking, "Puppy?" Also, the cutest thing happened tonight, and I must be honest that my heart absolutely melted. In fact, I came very close to shedding a tear! David was on the floor playing with his new toy, a 3-tiered race track, and Gunther, our oldest child, quietly walked over to David and plopped himself down between David's legs. David then leaned down and began petting and kissing on Gunther!!! Oh, my Mama heart melts to think my children are getting along. So precious!


Additionally, David is improving his English with each new word. To date, David now says, good job, socks, shoes, pillow, puppy, ears, nose, eyes, mouth, eat, please, easy, tortilla, more, and several others. He's our little sponge. We went on an outing to Barnes & Noble and purchased several small books to help him learn his numbers, alphabet, etc.

We discovered David not only likes fajitas, but Kyle fixes amazingly fresh homemade tortillas! Very authentic! Kyle is so cute! He has to constantly battle the urge to buy David toys and other items he might enjoy.

Today, we also had our first of three home study interviews. Kimberly, our case worker, was extremely nice and taken by David, and it was great to know that her two children were adopted, so we have/will experience some of the same issues. Her advice was also very sound.



The weather's been uncommonly warm for this time of year, and we've taken advantage of every opportunity. David's enjoyed riding his big car up and down the driveway, and belly laughs occur from all the Farnhams when David tumbles off his car or wrestles with Kyle. He is ALL BOY, by the way.

It's been a great week! Emily

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Slowly, but surely...

Another good day filled with ups and downs in the Farnham household. David went on another road trip, this time to Target to get a few supplies and to the grocery store to get more of his favorite foods, milk and bananas! David also managed to get another truck for his collection. (It just jumped into the basket!)

In the afternoon, Emily and David used some sidewalk chalk to decorate the driveway. David was able to meet the neighbor boy from across the street, and the three of them "tagged' my concrete while I went to a meeting. There have been a lot less tears and "no's" as we continue to figure out how we are going to work as a family. David is increasingly getting more accustomed to the dogs as we frequently see him hugging and giving them kisses. We have also been helping him play fetch and feed them snacks. Things are going well.

David has also started the "Farnham Language Immersion School." This consists of me saying words in English and him either saying them back, pointing to it, or a combination of both. After a few words, he is then rewarded with a mini M&M. Too bad my classes could not be this easy. As I said before, it was a good day.

Q&A - Do you know what the best thing about bedtime is? That is when Emily and I get to eat the candy and cookies we do not let him have yet. We call it "Adult Time."

Special Update - As some of you may know from previous posts, bath time is not the quietest time in our home. David has insisted on standing during bath time and this has worried me as I was concerned about him falling down or hitting his head. Emily and I tried a rubberized bathtub mat, but he was still wobbly as ever. So tonight Emily and I both helped with bath time (a united front) and just sat him down in the tub for his bath. There were a few tears (his, not ours), but soon he realized that he was okay and started playing with his toys again. A small hurdle cleared.

And let me tell you, it was stressful!!! I knew there would be tears and I did not want to scare him, but this was something that needed to be fixed. I felt so tired after we finished drying him off and getting him into his pajamas.

Kyle


Monday, November 17, 2008

Update: Operation Dogs are Nice

Slowly but surely David's succumbing to the fact that both he and the dogs must co-exist together in the house. We've baby-stepped our way to comfort with the dogs: having David stare at them through the window; holding one dog while the other parent holds David; having David throw the ball to the dogs; petting them; having them walk around together...the list continues. Once David grows more confident, we'll have David help feed the dogs and give them treats to establish a proper pecking order with the dogs, so they'll know David provides food like us. Overall, the magic solution to coexisting is simply going to be time.


Another developing element in our saga has been the two-year-old mentality of "mine" and "no." Right now, one of his favorite things is to test us. He loves to claim things as his own, or he'll want our help one minute and then not the next. The honeymoon is definitely over! He's trying to tell us, "No," and Kyle and I are quickly learning to chose our battles, giving him fewer chances to tell us, "No," and more opportunities for us to say, "Yes." The great thing about parenting seems to be that we'll always have another chance to handle things differently next time, so we're quickly learning and adjusting as we go. :)

David finally got to meet Uncle Clint, Aunt Jana, and Uncle Kyle. Too bad he had to take a nap. (Sticking to our schedule hasn't always been convenient, but it's a necessary evil in establishing our norm.)

This morning (Mon.) we went to the park since this is probably the warmest it will be for a while. David loved the slides, the swing, and climbing over anything he could. Definitely ALL BOY!! Kyle and I enjoyed seeing him giggle and flash that charming smile as he played.


Another major triumph was that he actually wanted his shoes off and helped put them up in his closet. Of course, not two minutes later he wanted them back, but at least it's a small victory for now. Talk to you later.

Emily

Friday, November 14, 2008

Home Sweet Home

Well we are home. We arrived back Thursday afternoon and spent the rest of the day trying to introduce David to everything around the house and his other grandparents (Mammy and Paw Paw Ron). David loved his room and all of his new toys. However, he was not too excited about the dogs, so we will have to take those introductions one day at a time. It took him a little bit to go the bed, but he eventually got the sleep that he needed.


Today was our first whole day back home and we have been trying to figure out a routine. The morning passed with the typical activities: breakfast, playing, dancing, wrestling, singing, talking, and watching some TV. We watched the dogs through the windows and doors to give David a safe place to get used to them. Poppy and Granna took us to get some more clothes and to the toy store to find David something to ride on and push around. David loves his new "carro" and rides it all over the house.

When we got home Emily had Eoghan (pronounced "owen") in the house to try and help David get to know the dogs better. He was not as upset with a dog in the house as he was last night, but David did make sure to play on the opposite side of the room as Eoghan. Later, we let the rest of the dogs in and kept them behind the baby gate in the back of the house. They did not seem to know what was going on, but they were just glad to be out of the cold. On the bright side, David seems to be aware of when his diaper needs to be changed so potty training may not be too far in the future. Now It is time for bed for me too. We are glad to be home and will be posting whenever we get the chance and/or whenever something new happens.

Kyle

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Guatemala City and final paperwork

This morning we got up and got ready for our tour of Guatemala City, the capital of the country. We started by going into the mountains to the southwest to take some panoramic pictures of the city in the valley below. Victor, our guide and driver, informed us that Guatemalans drive crazy, but they know what they are doing. Next, we drove through a few typical neighborhoods. It was interesting to see electrified, barbed-wire lining the tops of the walls and gates of the homes. We stopped in the central plaza area to look at the National Cathedral and the National Palace (the "Guatemalan White House"). There were a lot of pigeons in the square, and I do not think that David was that impressed with all of the flying around. After making our way to the opposite side of the city, we got to see a relief map of Guatemala that was the size of a city pool. A guy in 1905 took off on horseback to survey the country and make this large scale three-dimensional map of the country. Being a geography teacher I thought that this was really cool. (Did I mention I have seen three volcanoes on this trip!!!!!!!) Victor also identified the area (Copan) where David probably comes from. Finally, we made it to the central market where we bought some decorations for David's room and then left for the hotel.



We ate lunch at a restaurant called Kacao, which was recommended to us by numerous people for having "traditional" Guatemalan food. We were not quite sure what we were eating, but it was delicious! David enjoyed it, but I think the setting was a little too formal for him. To tell the truth, it was a little weird having the waiter watch our every move to see what we needed next. Oh well... maybe I am not cut out to be wealthy and go to these fancy places. :)

The rest of the afternoon was spent killing time until I had to go back to the Embassy to get David's VISA and passport. Surprisingly, it was another quick trip. I think it actually took longer to drive there and back then to wait in line. The rest of the night has gone according to our new routine. Dinner, play, bath time, wind-down time, bed. I think we may be getting the hang of this.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. We leave Guatemala City at 7:30am and arrive back in OKC around 2:30pm. We are hoping that David handles this new experience as well as he has all the other ones this week. The good thing is the plane to Houston will be loaded with other adoptive parents returning with their kids. The bad thing is that it could be a two and a half hour flight with a plane full of screaming kids! Either way we are ready to come home. Sometimes this trip has felt like a honeymoon and the relationship is yet to grow. We are ready to get back to the house and really begin the hard work of parenting.

As for Guatemala, it is a beautiful country, and we can never express enough what this process, trip, the country, and its people mean to us. We look forward to coming back when David is older and showing him where our family got its start.

See you soon,
Kyle

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Antigua, Guatemala

Hello again. Today we went traveling through the beautiful countryside to Antigua, one of the oldest and most visited cities in Central America. We toured several old monasteries, convents and churches, some of which had been converted into luxurious hotels. Our private guide and driver instantly fell in love with David (anyone sensing a theme?), and we all participated in constant conversation about their lives in Guatemala and our lives back home. It was nice to hear a "native" provide the "real scoop" of life here...plus it was just another reminder that, in spite of cultural differences, we're all essentially the same--we're human. Jocoba (Jacob), our guide, did have one really important question for us; he wanted to know why we specifically chose Guatemala for our adoption, and we replied with the same reasons most of you know.
1). I've always known I wanted to adopt, and Kyle and I discussed it as an option before we got married.
2). Being teachers, we witness kids with so much potential, but it is not realized because of a lack of opportunities.
3). Guatemala uses primarily foster homes for "waiting" children versus orphanages.
4). We were too young when we began the process. All countries except Korea and Guatemala required adoptive parents to be at least 30 years old.
5). The trip down here was about only 3-4 hours from Houston, and we weren't required to travel several times for longer periods of time. As teachers, we hate to take off from school more than necessary.
6). Finally, we have a home and wanted to be parents, so it made sense to show love to a child that was already here.
Jocoba's response was simply that it sounded like we had definitely thought this through. Jocoba, I agree! Now, back to the trip!

The winding mountain roads, limitless variety of trees, cobblestone streets, colorfully painted houses and shops, surrounding mountains, the street vendors in traditional dress, and breath-taking views fail to describe the wealth and the poverty of the country. Guatemala seems to be rich in terms of human connection, expression/passion, trees and plentiful vegetation, delicious and natural food, and beautiful landscapes. However, poverty, hard work, and pure survival seem to plague the majority of the country.

Every moment with my new family is a blessing, however I couldn't help but think about the life of the children who came from David's background and how they end up working hard their entire lives, experiencing little to no education, just to make a few dollars. I'm extremely grateful for the potential David will have with us and his new life as an American, but I've seen many, young and old, I wanted to bring back in my suitcase. I don't mean to be "Debby Downer," but when you're away from all you know and you really take the time to reflect about your life, you realize how great you have it and just how connected and alike we really are.

Once we returned from our excursion, we played and ate and played some more. David continues to be a riot, and he's lessening the tears during bath time and taking off his shoes for the night. We've discovered that when our little man is allowed to help in a new task, he's distracted from his real or imaginary fears, and just focuses on being a "big boy," which he is. David's also saying a few more English words, like "please" and "easy," but they both sound like "cheesy." One new word that came up tonight was "bobo." We were eating at dinner, then suddenly he displayed a confused face, put his hand under his bottom, and replied "bobo," which apparently means "toot!" (I realize this is probably a "mom" story and is only funny & meaningful to me, but since I have a captive audience, and this is somewhat a diary for the trip, you have the privilege of reading all my thoughts and experiences. Lucky you!)

Tomorrow is one of last big days because we are taking a morning tour of Guatemala City and then we travel back to the Embassy to pick up his finalized paperwork and Visa so we can return home. Here's to more fun, and can't wait for you all to meet David, our little charmer!

FYI--In case you're wondering why I keep typing DAVID instead of MICAH, Kyle and I have decided that while we are still legally changing his name to Micah David when we get back home, he no longer seems to be a MICAH, and my heart now only knows him as DAVID. Hope that makes sense?! :)

Until we meet again,
Mama Em




Monday, November 10, 2008

The Journey Continues

Well another day is finishing. David is slowly headed towards bedtime. He still gets upset about his shoes coming off, but not as bad as the first night. Also, bath time was not as big of an ordeal tonight. He even helped squirt shampoo into Emily's hands and played a little with his toy boat.

Today we had to go to the U.S. Embassy down the road to get the final paperwork finished and turned into the "powers that be." We left the hotel at 7am packed and prepared for a long day of waiting in a room with a bunch of screaming children. So we were surprised when the process was over and we were back in our hotel room by 9:30am! Our Guatemalan contact/escort seemed surprised as well. Other than a diaper change, it was a pretty uneventful time for David. He did have some cookies thrown at him by a little girl, but he got to keep them so he was alright with the whole thing.

My dad and I went to the bank and had some money exchanged for the tours we will go on later this week. I got to shop for a few souvenirs, and then we came back to the hotel for lunch. The afternoon was spent playing and napping. He really enjoys pushing his stroller around with Curious George sitting in the seat, and when he tires of that, he jumps in and waits to go for a stroll. (It is almost like a dog waiting at the door with his leash in his mouth!) One of his other favorite activities is to show his cars to anyone that will listen to him. His conversations consist of "Hola" quickly followed by an even louder "carro." We went to the playroom again today, and the "toy-stealing" little girls were there. David kept his distance! However, there was another girl that he seemed to be keeping his eye on from across the room. The girl and her mom spoke Spanish, but found out that her name was Jasmine and she is five years-old. She was very helpful in assisting David as he moved things around the room and picked up the toys. He eventually pulled a chair beside her and just set there smiling from ear to ear. What a ladies' man! The four of us have decided that he is the cutest, most well-behaved kid in the hotel, but then again I think we may be a little biased.

Oh yeah... David was introduced to two American staples today: pizza and play-doh. We agreed that the pizza was "rico" (delicious), and we spent most of the play-doh time smelling it over and over again. Next step, making shapes. He also loves to wrestle and rough house. Upside-down, sideways, somersaults, swinging around; it is all good to him! He cracked us up today when the rough housing had ceased but he wanted more; he told me, "manos zapatos," because he wanted me to pick him up by his shoes and swing him in the air and back onto the bed.

Tomorrow we will be going on a half-day tour of Antigua, Guatemala. This is a smaller, traditional city with old churches, ruins, and a central market for shopping. Hopefully all of the stroller training will payoff! Talk to you later.

Kyle

PS-He seems to enjoy watching Curious George and the Backyardigans.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

FYI

Here is some information for all of you that have been asking.

His current sizes are...
-18M to 2T in pants.
-2T to 3T in shirts.
-L (20-27lbs) in diapers.
-2T in socks and 6 or 7 in shoes.

He loves the basic boy toys...
-cars.
-blocks.
-music makers.
-things that require hands-on activity.
-reasoning toys (puzzles/shape-matching).

His foster mom has been using (and we would like to continue) Johnson & Johnson products ("Soothing Naturals"). Moisturizing and/or sensitive skin lotion in particular, as he has dry skin.

Kyle and Emily

Our First Day


First, let me say that parenting is already taken its toll. (This is Emily, by the way). Every time I heard movement or a sound I woke up! Needless to say, the only reason I'm awake now is survival plus adrenaline. :) David slept through the night in his own bed and woke up with no problems whatsoever; he just played with his carro (car) on his bed and smiled. Then we had breakfast downstairs in the restaurant. Man, can he eat! He loves anything you put in front of him! No picky eater here! After eating, we came upstairs and played until lunchtime, which again, was so much fun to watch. He has some interesting habits already. He uses only adult utensils and cups; he smells his food before he eats it; he takes pieces of bread and scoots it across his plate to capture any escaping morsels of food; and get this: HE DRINKS COFFEE!!! Poppy (Grandpa Ken) had just told us that a Guatemalan co-worker mentioned that we shouldn't be surprised if he drinks cafe (coffee). Sure enough, toward the end of lunch, Kyle and I ordered some, and David gave me his cup, pointed to the coffee cup, and said, "Cafe!" We laughed it off, not sure of what he meant, and David again insisted on his request by pointing to the his cup, then Kyle's coffee cup, then his again. Kyle poured him some water-downed coffee, and sure enough, he downed it like it was pop!! Starbucks, here we come!!!

Another interesting event was playing in the play room with all the other adoptive kids and their families. He loves to pick up chairs and toys and move them around. He also didn't seem to enjoy it when other kids, especially the girls, tried to claim his toys. He seems every bit of two years old. What's his is his.

I'm just so impressed with how smart, beautiful, and pleasant he is. He doesn't seem to know any strangers. He has the cutest smile, long eyelashes, and a laugh that could shatter any frozen heart. He's already quickly picking up English; we simply say things in Spanish and follow up with the English version. He already calls Kyle "Daddy" and me "Mama," and his Curious George is "George." Additionally, he says, "gracias," and "de nada," when he gives or receives things, and he picks up all his toys after he's finished playing. He has amazing manners. He also is extremely cooperative and "knows the drill" when it comes to diaper changes, changing clothes, etc. Like most Guatemalan children, he is extremely attached to his shoes; they only take them off when it's time for bed.

Right now, he's the perfect son, and it's like we've been together all this time. We know there will be some more adjustments when we return home and establish our "norm," but all is well and happy. He is truly a delight and blessing, and I can't wait for you all to meet and fall in love with him like we have!

Emily

Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Eagle has landed...

Well, the placement was delayed a couple of hours (go figure), so we did not get Micah until about 5:30. We got to talk with the foster mom about his daily routine and get information about David (his given name, we are going to change his name to Micah David). Emily and I very much got the sense that Micah was one of her favorites, and it was a hard thing for her to walk away from him. She was concerned about getting pictures of him from time to time as the last adoptive family promised to send pictures, but never did. After we finished the Q&A, we took Micah to the other side of the lobby as his foster family left. It was a very emotional time for all.

For the next couple of hours we played, had dinner, and played some more. Micah is a very outgoing kid, as stated by his foster mom. He loved the musical keyboard that we had brought for him and danced the night away; he very much enjoyed pressing the buttons while waving his arms and swaying his head to the music. Micah also loved his cars and wooden blocks. He would push his cars around the floor with lots of vroom, vrooms and beep, beeps. Everything was going well until we took off his shoes to get ready for bed. What happened next is what me friend refers to as a Total Child Meltdown (TCM). We do not know why, but he cried for a long while. Then as quickly as he started, he was done! We slowly wound down towards bed while playing with his favorite red car. As we speak he is sleeping and I am watching the Tech/OSU game in Spanish. Talk to you guys later.

Kyle

PS-The pictures. There are a couple of him playing before the TCM mentioned before and one of us with the foster mom and her family.



We have arrived....

Just thought I would leave a quick message to let you know that we have made it to Guatemala City and are getting settled into the hotel.  We should be meeting with our contact and the foster mom in a couple of hours.  After this get together, Micah will be with us.  It has been a long wait!

The pictures are of us at the OKC airport this morning (4:30am!!) and a view from our hotel.

About the bus picture.... I wanted to show you a Guatemalan bus turn signal. As we came to the hotel, the city buses were running everywhere, but when I looked at them I noticed a man hanging out of the door. I realized he was directing the traffic around the bus (ie-telling cars to slow down so that the bus could move over, yelling the all clear for the driver). I thought it was pretty cool.

Kyle




Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Beginnings...


Well....  it has been a busy week!  From worrying about paperwork to making travel arrangements, we have been through all sides of the process.  Emily and I are very excited to finally be able to go to Guatemala to complete our family.   This has been a long time coming for us.  We always knew that this would happen; it was just a matter of waiting on God's timing.  

If you had told us when we began the adoption process that it would take three years, you might have heard "No thank you" as your answer.  However, God works in strange ways, and looking back, we would not have had it any other way.  This long wait has allowed Emily and I to grow closer in our marriage, get our finances in order, prioritize, and gain a better understanding of the things that life throws your way and how God wants you to handle them.

We started this page to give us a chance to keep people updated about the trip and the weeks and months to come.  Again, thank you for the support you have given us from the beginning.

Kyle