Slowly, but surely...

Another good day filled with ups and downs in the Farnham household. David went on another road trip, this time to Target to get a few supplies and to the grocery store to get more of his favorite foods, milk and bananas! David also managed to get another truck for his collection. (It just jumped into the basket!)

In the afternoon, Emily and David used some sidewalk chalk to decorate the driveway. David was able to meet the neighbor boy from across the street, and the three of them "tagged' my concrete while I went to a meeting. There have been a lot less tears and "no's" as we continue to figure out how we are going to work as a family. David is increasingly getting more accustomed to the dogs as we frequently see him hugging and giving them kisses. We have also been helping him play fetch and feed them snacks. Things are going well.

David has also started the "Farnham Language Immersion School." This consists of me saying words in English and him either saying them back, pointing to it, or a combination of both. After a few words, he is then rewarded with a mini M&M. Too bad my classes could not be this easy. As I said before, it was a good day.

Q&A - Do you know what the best thing about bedtime is? That is when Emily and I get to eat the candy and cookies we do not let him have yet. We call it "Adult Time."

Special Update - As some of you may know from previous posts, bath time is not the quietest time in our home. David has insisted on standing during bath time and this has worried me as I was concerned about him falling down or hitting his head. Emily and I tried a rubberized bathtub mat, but he was still wobbly as ever. So tonight Emily and I both helped with bath time (a united front) and just sat him down in the tub for his bath. There were a few tears (his, not ours), but soon he realized that he was okay and started playing with his toys again. A small hurdle cleared.

And let me tell you, it was stressful!!! I knew there would be tears and I did not want to scare him, but this was something that needed to be fixed. I felt so tired after we finished drying him off and getting him into his pajamas.

Kyle

Update: Operation Dogs are Nice

Slowly but surely David's succumbing to the fact that both he and the dogs must co-exist together in the house. We've baby-stepped our way to comfort with the dogs: having David stare at them through the window; holding one dog while the other parent holds David; having David throw the ball to the dogs; petting them; having them walk around together...the list continues. Once David grows more confident, we'll have David help feed the dogs and give them treats to establish a proper pecking order with the dogs, so they'll know David provides food like us. Overall, the magic solution to coexisting is simply going to be time.


Another developing element in our saga has been the two-year-old mentality of "mine" and "no." Right now, one of his favorite things is to test us. He loves to claim things as his own, or he'll want our help one minute and then not the next. The honeymoon is definitely over! He's trying to tell us, "No," and Kyle and I are quickly learning to chose our battles, giving him fewer chances to tell us, "No," and more opportunities for us to say, "Yes." The great thing about parenting seems to be that we'll always have another chance to handle things differently next time, so we're quickly learning and adjusting as we go. :)

David finally got to meet Uncle Clint, Aunt Jana, and Uncle Kyle. Too bad he had to take a nap. (Sticking to our schedule hasn't always been convenient, but it's a necessary evil in establishing our norm.)

This morning (Mon.) we went to the park since this is probably the warmest it will be for a while. David loved the slides, the swing, and climbing over anything he could. Definitely ALL BOY!! Kyle and I enjoyed seeing him giggle and flash that charming smile as he played.


Another major triumph was that he actually wanted his shoes off and helped put them up in his closet. Of course, not two minutes later he wanted them back, but at least it's a small victory for now. Talk to you later.

Emily

Home Sweet Home

Well we are home. We arrived back Thursday afternoon and spent the rest of the day trying to introduce David to everything around the house and his other grandparents (Mammy and Paw Paw Ron). David loved his room and all of his new toys. However, he was not too excited about the dogs, so we will have to take those introductions one day at a time. It took him a little bit to go the bed, but he eventually got the sleep that he needed.


Today was our first whole day back home and we have been trying to figure out a routine. The morning passed with the typical activities: breakfast, playing, dancing, wrestling, singing, talking, and watching some TV. We watched the dogs through the windows and doors to give David a safe place to get used to them. Poppy and Granna took us to get some more clothes and to the toy store to find David something to ride on and push around. David loves his new "carro" and rides it all over the house.

When we got home Emily had Eoghan (pronounced "owen") in the house to try and help David get to know the dogs better. He was not as upset with a dog in the house as he was last night, but David did make sure to play on the opposite side of the room as Eoghan. Later, we let the rest of the dogs in and kept them behind the baby gate in the back of the house. They did not seem to know what was going on, but they were just glad to be out of the cold. On the bright side, David seems to be aware of when his diaper needs to be changed so potty training may not be too far in the future. Now It is time for bed for me too. We are glad to be home and will be posting whenever we get the chance and/or whenever something new happens.

Kyle

Guatemala City and final paperwork

This morning we got up and got ready for our tour of Guatemala City, the capital of the country. We started by going into the mountains to the southwest to take some panoramic pictures of the city in the valley below. Victor, our guide and driver, informed us that Guatemalans drive crazy, but they know what they are doing. Next, we drove through a few typical neighborhoods. It was interesting to see electrified, barbed-wire lining the tops of the walls and gates of the homes. We stopped in the central plaza area to look at the National Cathedral and the National Palace (the "Guatemalan White House"). There were a lot of pigeons in the square, and I do not think that David was that impressed with all of the flying around. After making our way to the opposite side of the city, we got to see a relief map of Guatemala that was the size of a city pool. A guy in 1905 took off on horseback to survey the country and make this large scale three-dimensional map of the country. Being a geography teacher I thought that this was really cool. (Did I mention I have seen three volcanoes on this trip!!!!!!!) Victor also identified the area (Copan) where David probably comes from. Finally, we made it to the central market where we bought some decorations for David's room and then left for the hotel.



We ate lunch at a restaurant called Kacao, which was recommended to us by numerous people for having "traditional" Guatemalan food. We were not quite sure what we were eating, but it was delicious! David enjoyed it, but I think the setting was a little too formal for him. To tell the truth, it was a little weird having the waiter watch our every move to see what we needed next. Oh well... maybe I am not cut out to be wealthy and go to these fancy places. :)

The rest of the afternoon was spent killing time until I had to go back to the Embassy to get David's VISA and passport. Surprisingly, it was another quick trip. I think it actually took longer to drive there and back then to wait in line. The rest of the night has gone according to our new routine. Dinner, play, bath time, wind-down time, bed. I think we may be getting the hang of this.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. We leave Guatemala City at 7:30am and arrive back in OKC around 2:30pm. We are hoping that David handles this new experience as well as he has all the other ones this week. The good thing is the plane to Houston will be loaded with other adoptive parents returning with their kids. The bad thing is that it could be a two and a half hour flight with a plane full of screaming kids! Either way we are ready to come home. Sometimes this trip has felt like a honeymoon and the relationship is yet to grow. We are ready to get back to the house and really begin the hard work of parenting.

As for Guatemala, it is a beautiful country, and we can never express enough what this process, trip, the country, and its people mean to us. We look forward to coming back when David is older and showing him where our family got its start.

See you soon,
Kyle

Antigua, Guatemala

Hello again. Today we went traveling through the beautiful countryside to Antigua, one of the oldest and most visited cities in Central America. We toured several old monasteries, convents and churches, some of which had been converted into luxurious hotels. Our private guide and driver instantly fell in love with David (anyone sensing a theme?), and we all participated in constant conversation about their lives in Guatemala and our lives back home. It was nice to hear a "native" provide the "real scoop" of life here...plus it was just another reminder that, in spite of cultural differences, we're all essentially the same--we're human. Jocoba (Jacob), our guide, did have one really important question for us; he wanted to know why we specifically chose Guatemala for our adoption, and we replied with the same reasons most of you know.
1). I've always known I wanted to adopt, and Kyle and I discussed it as an option before we got married.
2). Being teachers, we witness kids with so much potential, but it is not realized because of a lack of opportunities.
3). Guatemala uses primarily foster homes for "waiting" children versus orphanages.
4). We were too young when we began the process. All countries except Korea and Guatemala required adoptive parents to be at least 30 years old.
5). The trip down here was about only 3-4 hours from Houston, and we weren't required to travel several times for longer periods of time. As teachers, we hate to take off from school more than necessary.
6). Finally, we have a home and wanted to be parents, so it made sense to show love to a child that was already here.
Jocoba's response was simply that it sounded like we had definitely thought this through. Jocoba, I agree! Now, back to the trip!

The winding mountain roads, limitless variety of trees, cobblestone streets, colorfully painted houses and shops, surrounding mountains, the street vendors in traditional dress, and breath-taking views fail to describe the wealth and the poverty of the country. Guatemala seems to be rich in terms of human connection, expression/passion, trees and plentiful vegetation, delicious and natural food, and beautiful landscapes. However, poverty, hard work, and pure survival seem to plague the majority of the country.

Every moment with my new family is a blessing, however I couldn't help but think about the life of the children who came from David's background and how they end up working hard their entire lives, experiencing little to no education, just to make a few dollars. I'm extremely grateful for the potential David will have with us and his new life as an American, but I've seen many, young and old, I wanted to bring back in my suitcase. I don't mean to be "Debby Downer," but when you're away from all you know and you really take the time to reflect about your life, you realize how great you have it and just how connected and alike we really are.

Once we returned from our excursion, we played and ate and played some more. David continues to be a riot, and he's lessening the tears during bath time and taking off his shoes for the night. We've discovered that when our little man is allowed to help in a new task, he's distracted from his real or imaginary fears, and just focuses on being a "big boy," which he is. David's also saying a few more English words, like "please" and "easy," but they both sound like "cheesy." One new word that came up tonight was "bobo." We were eating at dinner, then suddenly he displayed a confused face, put his hand under his bottom, and replied "bobo," which apparently means "toot!" (I realize this is probably a "mom" story and is only funny & meaningful to me, but since I have a captive audience, and this is somewhat a diary for the trip, you have the privilege of reading all my thoughts and experiences. Lucky you!)

Tomorrow is one of last big days because we are taking a morning tour of Guatemala City and then we travel back to the Embassy to pick up his finalized paperwork and Visa so we can return home. Here's to more fun, and can't wait for you all to meet David, our little charmer!

FYI--In case you're wondering why I keep typing DAVID instead of MICAH, Kyle and I have decided that while we are still legally changing his name to Micah David when we get back home, he no longer seems to be a MICAH, and my heart now only knows him as DAVID. Hope that makes sense?! :)

Until we meet again,
Mama Em